Traveling in patterns of God's making

Christine Valters Painter, in a guest post on Godspace  , writes about Lectio Divina:

"In my morning prayer I make space to just notice what experience is rising up in me, and in my daily life I become attentive to those experiences which stir strong feelings or trigger an unexpected memory. Perhaps I am driving in my car and a song comes on the radio which carries me back in time to a moment from my past and I am filled with emotion. Lectio cultivates my ability to make space to allow the fullness of my experience. Rather than holding back my tears and judging them, I let them flow and in the process discover a moment of healing and grace."

When I first read this, my reaction was "yes, letting the tears flow brings healing and grace."  But after thinking about it more deeply, I realized that it isn't the tears that bring healing.  It's making space for the fullness of the experience. And I realized, too, that moments are measured in linear time but that they aren't fully experienced that way - especially life-changing moments.  We don't move neatly and smoothly through our days, with a clean beginning and end to each experience.  Life isn't really a highway, but more like a body of water, and the best mode of travel is to "travel in patterns of God's making"*, allowing dips and swells of emotion.

We talk about reliving moments through our memories and through photographs.  But isn't it more of a continuation of the experience? Often it's only through reflection that we understand the emotion of the moment.  It's only through opening ourselves to the floodgates of feeling that we can fully celebrate joy or learn to carry the burden of loss.  Most often when we are in the moment our senses can't absorb it all, our brains can't process it all. The moment in linear time passes but we carry it with us, tucked away as we go about our routine daily tasks.  Smells, sounds, sights, words . . .all of these may bring the emotion of the moment back at a later time.

When I read a good book I read it quickly, in a hurry to turn the page and find out what happens next.  To do a book justice, I have to go back and re-read it at least once, sometimes twice, in order to fully absorb and understand it.  I've wished I could relive every joyful experience in my life the way that I re-read a book - focusing on the details, imprinting them on my heart.  I can't do that - I can't go back in time - but I can continue to experience the moments by making room for that joy to well up in me once again.

If it's a moment of loss that's been tucked away, the emotions well up when my emotional guard is down.  A song, a story, a movie, a photo, a newspaper article - all of those have been triggers that have brought the moment back.  The tears come, the pain comes, but over time healing also comes.  The loss stays, but there is salve for the pain.  There is healing and grace.

*I want to travel in patterns of God’s making. . .
Moving to the rhythm of the surging of his spirit,A journey which when life ends, in Christ has just begun
    -Julia McGuinness

The blessing is in the seed

Nourish beginnings, let us nourish beginnings. Not all things are blest, but the seeds of 

all things are blest.The blessing is in the seed. 

Muriel Rukeyser

Collecting seeds with my grandchildren, Fall 2010

The church my husband and I have belonged to for 31 years celebrates 50 years of ministry this year with the theme "Blessed to be a Blessing".   A request has gone out asking people to share:

As part of our anniversary celebration, we are hoping to share with each other how Ascension has blessed our lives. Maybe it was a baptism, a church life event, confirmation, first communion, a call or a card when things weren’t going well, special music that touched you, a particularly meaningful worship service, volunteering for Meals on Wheels or another outreach project.....

what special memories do you have of Ascension?

My children grew up in this church and the individual blessings are too many to name.  Though they were all three baptized in other churches in other towns, this little church gave them a foundation of faith that has proven strong.  They are all three parents now and we have come full circle - 

to new beginnings in the baptisms of their children, our grandchildren.

This is the blessing I cherish the most - the blessed seeds of faith planted in my children by the loving people of Ascension Lutheran Church.  It is a blessing that was not only planted but nourished through first communion, Vacation Bible School, youth group, Sunday School, Confirmation class, and Christmas programs.  My children were nourished through service as acolytes and crucifers as well as the less appealing service of cleaning  and mowing.  My oldest daughter was married at Ascension.  We gathered there for communion the evening before my younger daughter's wedding. 

 The important passages of their young lives were celebrated at Ascension 

and the church family encircled them in care and love.

And we, as parents, were nourished as well.

One morning many years ago, I went to a quilting gathering at the church with two young children in tow.  One was my two-year-old son and the other was an infant I was caring for.  It had been a stressful morning and some small thing - I don't even remember what it was - brought me nearly to tears.  One of the older women there, who taught my children in Sunday School, put her hand on my shoulder and with just a few words helped me put it in perspective.  She had been where I was, she knew how I felt, and she knew that a kind hand and a kind word were the nourishment I needed.  

I can still feel her hand and hear the kindness in her voice. It was one of many blessings.

As Ascension Lutheran Church celebrates 50 years of ministry may it continue 

to plant blest seeds and to nourish them.